Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
i think i just lost a toe
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
