I wannas sexs uuuuu
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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