he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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