Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I think i peed on brittanys purse
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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