that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
