don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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