Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
