can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
