i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
