Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you