Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
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