Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
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She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
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It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.