i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Too much gin, very little bucket
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.