For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
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