he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
