I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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