why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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