He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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