i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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