Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
