she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I could fuck to npr.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
