week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
