i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Randomize
