he puts the penis in happiness.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Watching her eat just hurts me
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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