then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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