Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
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well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
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It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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