would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
