literally had 100 drinks last night.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
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