and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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