u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
