just tell him i said nine months
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
