Whod you bang
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
