Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
