never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
