My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
