So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
