So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
