I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
