Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
