My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
