That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
