if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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