So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize