You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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