I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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