between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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