I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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