There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
