wrigley field is MILF paradise
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
