i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
