please come you make the beer taste better
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
