Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Randomize
