I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
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