I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I want her autograph on my taint
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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