On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
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