a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I think I am morally bankrupt
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize