As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Randomize
