everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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