He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
