I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
