I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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