my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
