Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
