Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
