I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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