Come see our sink grown plant.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
