Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Randomize
