so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
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