I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
