hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
