Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
